


two nerds need to get their shit together

by braggwood



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, its pretty gay you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braggwood/pseuds/braggwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Matt are fucking clueless when it comes to romance. Thank god Jeremy's there to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	two nerds need to get their shit together

Matt kept getting _things_.

And it's definitely _things_ , italics needed, because. It's just things.

First, it's a headlight on his doorstep, a few days after he complained about buying Gavin a new one since he broke it with some biker's head.

He didn't really think of it, just assumed someone in the crew was paying a debt or being nice to him for once. They've gotta stay on his good side, after all, he's the only mechanic in Los Santos willing to constantly fix the same cars over and over because they keep driving them down Mount Chilliad.

But more gifts popped up anytime he blinked. In increasingly concerning places too, because finding a hoodie in your kitchen cabinet is enough to get anyone worried, and Matt "Anxiety" Bragg does not need more things to worry about.

Then it's a wrench in his mailbox, then an engine piece on his couch, then fifty five boxes of matches lined up like dominos on his counter (now, that one he liked), then a houseplant on his windowsill, then a scrapbook full of coupons for assorted restaurants around the city on his bed.

"JESUS _GOD_!"  
Then, of course, the dead body on the doorstep. No one could forget the body.  
By then, he had a sneaking suspicion to who was doing it, but there was only one asshole would go out, kill someone and leave their corpse on a doorstep.

Ryan goddamn Haywood.

See, Ryan Haywood was not a low key kinda guy. Everyone who's met the guy knew he was a drama queen. Once he killed someone with their own knitting needles, that's how theatric he was. He doesn't really understand the meaning of descreet.

So of course dropping gifts in his house is his 'stealthy' way to seduce him. What a fucking loser.

And now he has a body to get rid of and a love life to reconsider.

As he dragged the poor guy's corpse to the back of his house, he took the few minutes to think about his predicament, and also had a few breaks because god, he hates exercise.

So the Vagabond wanted to fuck and/or date him. That's new.

But with Ryan clearly wanting him in some way, since very few people would leave a dead guy on your porch and not want you in some way, shape or form, now what? How does he stay in the same room as him? Matt didn't know, but felt slightly scared nonetheless.

Romance will always be scarier than any life threatening scenario fate could throw at him, and romance involving Ryan "Threw A Guy In A Manhole For Cutting Him Off In Traffic But Also Can't Talk Right" Haywood didn't really help.

God must hate him. That is the only explanation for this.

After having a successful bonfire and tossing the remains in the trash, Matt sat on the ground, knees to his chest, watching the fire rise and fall.  
Why couldn't his life be simple? Why couldn't he just be a normal dude in the desert who happened to work for criminals? No, of course not, he had to be a hot mess with a serial killing nerd chasing after him.

Life's just fantastic.

 

For all his certainty it's Ryan leaving gifts, Matt really didn't know how to confront him about it. How do you talk to the guy who leaves dead people on your porch and regularly breaks into your house?  
Matt sure doesn't know.

But Ryan's gifts seem to have stopped. Completely. There's no car parts, plants or food anywhere in his house, no dead things, not even a smile when they're together. No more than usual, anyways.

He's slightly scared because he missed it. He actually missed finding weird things in weird places and getting rid of corpses, and he ran out of windows to put his dying marigolds in.  
He's slightly terrified that Ryan knew he knew and just stopped altogether, or he just didn't like him anymore, and he can't believe he cared so much that the thought hurt. That's not terrifying at all.

He's started to hide in Geoff's garage, it was so bad. He wanted to see him, to try to talk to him, but he's Matt and Ryan's a professional killer, so he hid and tried to forget.

He took apart the old AH mobile and put it back together again. Upgraded every car in the garage as much as he could until he ran out of parts or there was nothing left to fix.

Jeremy kept him company and tried to convince him to talk to Ryan but if nothing else, Matt's stubborn. So he stays underneath Geoff’s apartment building, tinkering about and sleeping in one of the many guest bedrooms in the penthouse. He’s there so often Geoff stops thinking of him as a guest.

It’s a great strategy, but then Ryan has to ruin it with his fucking smile. Goddamn, that smile.

Matt’s blinking repeatedly, trying to clear the dots in his vision when a dark figure loomed over him and blocked out the light.

“Thanks for the shade and all, but which one are you?” A low chuckle.

“Ryan.” And just like that, Matt’s wide awake.

“Oh-hey, Ryan. Why are you in my room?” Ryan smiled kindly at him and Matt wanted to curl up and scream forever. How is he acting so casual?

“Morning to you too sunshine. I brought coffee, do you want it here, or?”

Matt’s so caught up on ‘sunshine’ he just nods mutely as Ryan sets a mug on his bedside table and apologizes for not knowing the way he likes it.

“Jeremy wants to talk to you by the way. He’s in the garage when you’re ready.” He added and Matt groaned, falling back into his pillows. “You guys okay?” He sounded genuinely worried for their relationship. Fuck, he’s sweet.

“Yeah yeah. He just wants to talk about feelings.” He muttered and Ryan laughed, sounding relieved.

“Gross.”

“Exactly my point. That’s why you’re my favorite.” He said it without thinking and Ryan stiffened.

“I’m your favorite?” Well, he’s in the shit now. Might as well go down with the ship.

“Well, yeah. You’re like, five times more attractive, and you’re actually nice to me. Jeremy thinks he knows what’s best for me.” He said honestly, and Ryan seems to recover from whatever that was. Matt doesn’t want to think about it really. He doesn't need false hope.

“You mean he does know what’s best for you.” Matt half heartedly glared at him from his burrow of pillows. He didn't look very intimidated.

“You’re taking his side, traitor?” Ryan smiled strangely and just shook his head. The hell was that about?

“Get up lazybones or I’ll take the coffee with me.” Matt put a hand over his heart, wounded.

“You’re evil.”

Ryan laughed, the dark, sadistic one he uses in heists and torture sessions, and Matt shivered involuntarily.

“Yes I am.”

 

“You need to talk to Ryan.”

“Oh my gooood.” Matt groaned, covering his face with his hands. He had barely stepped out of the apartment building and he’s already getting lectured. Incredible. Why was he friends with Jeremy again?

“Seriously! Tell him, I promise he won’t get upset.” Jeremy insisted. “He likes you, I swear! Just tell him, okay?”

“I’ll tell him when Geoff kicks me out.” He could practically feel his frown.

“Don’t be a smart ass. Tell Ryan or I won’t cuddle with you for two weeks.” Matt put his hands down, looking at him like he just slapped him.

“How dare you?”

“Talk to him. Or no more of that.” He said firmly. Matt groaned again.

“You suck.

Jeremy stepped back, smiling innocently at him as he opens his car door.

“Yes I do. Tell him before I do.” His head falls into his hands again.

He’s just starting his car when Matt lifts his head from his hands to flip him off. Jeremy gives him one more shit eating grin before revving his engine and peeling off down the street and Matt huffed in frustration.

Now he has feelings to admit _and_  a deadline. Fantastic.

Matt should just leave town like Ray did. That would clear this up real quick.

 

Ryan’s playing something when he walked in but still glances at him when he walks through the door before going back to his game. Matt shuffles forward until his shins hit the arm of the couch and falls face first into it. Ryan shifts out of the way primly.

“What did Jeremy want?” He asked evenly over the click of the buttons.

His voice runs through his head. Tell him before I do.

Matt took a deep breath.

“He wanted me to tell you I liked you.”

Silence. Complete and utter silence. Even the video game seemed to have muted itself.

“Excuse me?” Ryan’s voice was strange and Matt never wanted to punch someone more than he did right then. He knew it. He fucking knew he didn’t feel the same, and Jeremy lead him to this, the prick.

“I like you.” Might as well ride this flaming mess into the ground, he’s already knew deep in shit anyways.

Ryan looked at him. Blinked, cleared his throat, and ran a hand over his face before he responded.

“Is this real? You’re not joking right?”

“Uh, no.”

His whole face lit up. Fuck, he was cute.

"Wow. Sorry, Matt, I was just. Not expecting this today."

"You were expecting this?"

"Well, yeah. I always thought you liked me but to be honest, I was a little terrified."

Matt could cry in relief. The mad mercenary was scared of him.

When Matt comes back to himself Ryan's beaming at him, hands halfway to his face.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Oh hell yes.”

It’s warm and caring and fucking wonderful and Matt went until he couldn’t anymore and had to pull back for a breath.

Ryan had a loopy expression on, smiling like so much they couldn't kiss properly anyways.

"Don't leave me dead things anymore."

"Keep kissing like that and I won’t.”

“...Won’t stop or won’t give me dead things?”

“I’ll stop giving you dead things.”

“Just clarifying.”

Geoff walked in on them making out on his couch hours later.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @braggwood on tumblr.....I am not opposed to prompts


End file.
